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Review of SMW episodes 3 and 4
by Playboy Don Douglas
When we left off, the Fantastics had beaten the Koloffs, Ron Wright was causing trouble but may be the victim of an unfortunate misunderstanding, Bob Armstrong is trying to establish firm rules for the company, we know that champions will be crowned before too long, Jim Cornette has said he has a team but won't reveal them yet, and we've seen stars like Robert Gibson, Paul Orndorff, and Terry Gordy make the scene. We're just getting started, so there's a lot in store from SMW in 1992.
Air Date: 2/15/92
From East High School in Morristown, TN. As I've mentioned, Morristown has a distinct smell for the area. I believe some have said it's a papermill, but I honestly don't know.
Bob tells us that "Hollywood" Bob Holly, Robert Gibson, Tim Horner, Dutch, and Brian Lee will be in action. We'll hear from Mr. Ron Wright. Bob is joined by Jim Cornette. He doesn't like the response he gets and calls the fans a bunch of hillbillies. He's looking forward to seeing Bob Holly as well as who Ivan Koloff's new tag team partner will be. He tells Prime Time that he'll be canceled on today's program.
Match #1: vs.
I'm pretty sure this is the same Pat Rose who was at Fanfest this year. Holly looks absolutely disgusted to be in Morristown. Can't say I blame him. The smell aside, the only thing I know for a fact exists there is a Hardees. Holly blindsides him, but Rose comes back with a big right hand. Jim puts over Bob, but Rose stays in control. Holly gets an inverted atomic drop and he's happy. Jim says that Bob is in movies, TV shows, and commercials, but Bob Caudle doesn't buy it. Oh, that was bad. Rose was apparently expecting Bob to kick him and Bob was apparently expecting to get back dropped, so he took the bump without Rose doing anything. Bob ends up hitting the top rope knee drop for the win.
In another "we're coming to your area soon" pre-tape, Bob is joined by Tim Horner and the Fantastics. That wouldn't exactly encourage me to go out and buy tickets, but hey, I'm not everybody. Jackie's wearing a Ribera jacket. Tim puts over the fans and says he's happy to be here. Bobby says what's happening in SMW is what should be happening in wrestling. He's wrestled all over the world but these fans are the best in the world. Jackie is looking forward to meeting all the great fans, especially the pretty young ladies. Good luck with that one, hoss.
Bob mentions that the Fantastics beat the Koloffs last week, but Ivan has said he has a new partner. We go to Bobby Fulton, who says he's heard Vladimir has been called back to Russia on important business, but Ivan can bring on whoever he wants.
Bob is joined by Ivan Koloff, who has Jimmy Golden with him. He says it's none of anyone's business, but Vladimir has been called back. He knows the Fantastics are obsessed with driving them out of America. He has aligned himself with the class of America, a man who has made his mark on wrestling and will continue to do so. Some of you may know him as Bunkhouse Buck. A few of you, who I can't help but feel sorry for, will probably only know him as "Jack Swagger's father" on WWE TV a while back. I know him as a legend who can still wrestle a good match, Jimmy Golden. Jimmy tells us they're about to start a coup in Moscow and Vladimir will make sure it's done right. He says they'll be crowning champions soon so they might as well give them the belts. The Fantastics never beat anyone, and they'll face them anytime and anywhere.
Match #2: vs.
Again, I can't help but laugh a bit at "Hustler" Rip Rogers. Bob says, "Look at the body on Maggs," and Cornette says, "I don't want to look at his body, it doesn't attract me at all." Rogers does a Pearl Harbor job. "Maggs just came back from a successful tour of Japan." "Well, he should go back there." Maggs comes back and dropkicks Rogers to the floor. Back in , and Rogers takes control again. He dumps Maggs to the gym floor and comes off the top rope with a double axe handle. Jim puts over Jimmy Golden on commentary and he and Ivan will be a tough team. The action goes back and forth a bit, but Rogers hits a superplex (the "Ripperplex" for the 3. Pretty good match.
Match #3: The Mighty Yankee vs Robert Gibson
The Mighty Yankee is a masked guy billed as hailing from "Up North." Cheap heat, but it could have worked with somebody that wasn't a masked jobber. I'm pretty sure there was a tag team called the Mighty Yankees in the old Knoxville territory back in the '60s and early '70s. Bob says that Gibson is out to prove he can be a great singles wrestler. Cornette says he's out to prove that he played a part in the tag team's success and it wasn't just his ex-partner. Jim puts down the ex-partner without mentioning him by name along with all of Gibson's friends. Bob sends out best wishes to Robert's brother, Ricky Gibson, a former wrestler himself, who had been in a car accident and spent some time in critical condition. The Mighty Yankee takes a bit of an advantage and puts Gibson to the outside and suplexes him back in. Yankee misses a charge into the corner and Gibson hits a bulldog for 3.
Bob asks Jim about his tag team. Jim says the people in this town look like a genetic experiment gone wrong. Jim says in this country these days, you don't know who to trust and believe in. Magic Johnson is a great sports star, then it turns out he completed more passes off the court than on it. Pee Wee Herman was a great hero to the children, then it turns out he likes to play solitaire in a crowded theater. The state of Louisianna elects an indicted criminal to their highest office, and he was the best choice. You've got Jimmy Swaggart trying to save all the fallen women...trying to save them for himself. But you can trust Jim Cornette. He's bringing a dominant team to the area, and they'll be the tag team champions whether the hillbillies like it or not.
We go back to last week and the end of the Scott Armstrong vs Dutch Mantell match.
Jim criticizes Lee for coming out with a board, trying to kill somebody.
In a pre-taped video, Dutch Mantell is with Mr. Ron Wright. Bless his heart. Mr. Wright's condition has saddened Dutch, and he knows what it's like to be in a situation when you need money, there but by the grace of God, Dutch could be in that wheelchair himself, and he'd want help too. He's not looking for a full time manager, he's always done things on his own, but he asks Ron to escort him to the ring and be in his corner against Brian Lee because it would be an honor and privilege. When it's done, maybe Mr. Wright will see something in Lee that he likes. Ron immediately begins wiping his eyes with a handkerchief. "You've brought tears to an old man's eyes that's kind of down on his luck." Dutch pats his arm for reassurance. He'd be glad to because that Brian Lee hasn't shown him anything. Medicare won't pay for his hip and knee implants, but when Dutch gets done with Lee, they might make something out of it and do it.
Bob hopes that watching the match is all Wright does. Jim hopes he doesn't get hurt because he's so frail.
Match #4: vs.
Horowitz is announced this week as "Bad Boy" Barry Horowitz. Horner's music is a brief snippet of Garth Brooks. Just the part that says, "The thunder rolls, and the lightning strikes" and just a bit after, because the rest of the lyrics wouldn't make any damn sense at allfor his entrance music. We get a shot of a little kid with a foam lightning bolt and Jim sounds disgusted as he talks about "that little snotnose." Jim's hoping Horner gets beat in front of his home town crowd. He's not having much trouble so far. Jim says Horner must have paid everone in Morristown to come out and cheer for him. Apparently, Bob has some kind of phone call from the director, so Jim takes over. Bob informs us that the news is next week's main event will be the Fantastics vs Ivan Koloff and Jimmy Golden. Horowitz takes the advantage, and does that "reverse DDT on the knee" thing that everyone and their mother started doing a few years ago, but this is '92, so Cornette doesn't know what to think about it. Horner makes a comeback. Horner goes for the Natural Bridge but Horowitz hangs on to the rope. He pats himself on the back, and that gives Horner the opening to hit the move for the pin. Another solid match. Horner is fine in the ring, he's just atrocious on the stick. So of course he gets mic time pretty much every week.
Horner joins Bob. He's happy to be here and appreciates the fans. Well, that was certainly worth getting him over there.
We get pre-taped comments from another star coming to SMW: "Nature Boy" Buddy Landel.
He says we all know who he is, we've seen him in every major promotion and the reason he's not working for any of them is because he doesn't kiss anyone's can or do any favors for promoters. SMW has told him he can be himself. He can pull people's eyes out, he can slap their hairlips off so when people see them walking down the street and ask, "What happened to you?" they can say (complete with vocal impersonation of someone with the condition) "Buddy Landel slapped the hairlip off me. " Damn. You won't see a promo like that on TV today. Buddy puts over the SMW roster, saying their tough guys. He says he's got a bad attitude and big ego, and if he has to put the figure four on everyone in SMW, that's what he'll do.
Main Event: vs
Jim says the first time you see Brian Lee's face, you want to slap him. Dutch isn't having much luck. Jim says Mr. Wright isn't here yet and hopes that he hasn't caught the flu that's been going around, the poor thing. Ron wheels himself down shortly after. Bob wants to know why he insists on being called "Mr." Ron Wright. Jim says it's because he's a senior citizen, he's crippled, and these young punks need to learn respect. Bob says he was the most hated wrestler in the area during the '60s and '70s, the fans attacked him, he was suspended by promoters, he tried to cripple people and put them out of wrestling, and the fans remember. Cornette counters that the fans are all rednecks and the promoters were all against him. Jim says he's a kindhearted man who was beloved in this part of the country. Bob again hopes all he does is watch and Jim wonders what else he can do since he's in a wheelchair. Dutch has some issues with the ref but takes over again. Dutch grabs the abdominal stretch and again starts grabbing the rope. Jim hopes Mr. Wright doesn't get cold because it's flu season. We get a good shot of an old woman in the crowd giving Dutch hell for grabbing the rope.
She actually pops up on a lot of the shows. Jim wonders if her undertaker knows she got up today. Jim says Dutch isn't grabbing the rope for leverage, he's just wiping sweat off his hand. Brian starts firing back. Powerslam and Ron hands Dutch some knucks. Lee blocks the shot and takes the knucks away. He nails Dutch with them and covers. The ref counts 2 before seeing the knucks on Lee's hand. Your winner by DQ, Dutch Mantell as Jim calls Lee a stupid idiot for not taking them off.
In another "we're coming to your town soon" pre-tape, Bob Caudle is joined by Mr. Ron Wright in his wheelchair.
Ron says it's a pleasure to be there and they have some of the best wrestlers in the world there. Everybody knows he was the best wrestler in the world and he's a living legend, but he still hasn't got a contract with anyone yet. He still needs a hip implant. He's down with arthritis in his knee and back and he's still taking nitroglycerin for his heart, but he'll get there.
"Hollywood" Bob Holly is next. He doesn't have much time because the limo's waiting for him because he's got a dinner date with Julia Roberts so he has to fly out to LA. Jim Cornette pops in to tell him the limo is waiting and puts Bob and the company itself over.
Bob Caudle is joined by Brian Lee. Part of me wonders how many times Lee said some variation of, "That's exactly right, Bob Caudle," during his time in SMW, but I don't care enough to take a count. Lee is angry with Dutch and Ron Wright and says he might put Dutch in a wheelchair to match Ron's. He doesn't care where it is, he wants another match with Dutch.
Bob mentions how Ron has said he would only watch from ringside, but has gotten involved.
Air Date: 2/22/92
Still at East High School in Morristown. The whole crew will have to have everything they wore fumigated.
Bob is rejoined by Dutch Mantell. We'll see Hector Guerrero this week, who Bob accidentally calls Hector Gomez.
Match #1: vs
Dig that hair on Tommy Angel. Angel, of course, did a lot of job work for NWA/WCW. Hector, of course, is part of the legendary wrestling family. Both guys are babyfaces. Some nice wrestling to start. Angel can't figure out some of Hector's moves. Dutch has a surprise for Brian Lee but he's not giving it away yet. Headscissors by Hector and after a pause, they shake hands and continue. Everything Angel tries, Hector has an answer for. Hector extends the hand again and they shake. Angel hits a couple of flapjacks and is happy about it. They collide on an irish whip and Angel spills to the outside. Guerrero dives over the top to the gym floor. Back in, they do that weird pin where they roll around in a circle a few times for no apparent reason. Dutch calls it the jalapeno pepper roll. It gets the 3, Hector wins it.
Bob is joined by Ivan Koloff and Jimmy Golden. They've got the Fantastics tonight. Ivan has spoke to Vladimir and he'll be back soon. He says the Fantastics are stupid for signing to face him and Jimmy Golden. Jimmy hasn't seen anything Fantastic about them. Not on their finest day could they beat him and Ivan. All these fans need to show some respect to Ivan and the Soviet Union because they're getting soft.
We go back to last week and the end of Dutch vs Lee with Ron handing the knucks and the aftermath. We also go back to Lee's promo after the match.
Dutch denies being afraid of Lee. He says he has a fear of getting hurt and that's called good sense. He introduces Carl Stiles, who I'm pretty sure was the Black Scorpion on the first show. He says Stiles is a fan of his and basically wanted his guidance. So if Lee wants Dutch, he'll have to go through Stiles first. He looks kind of simple minded.
"We're coming to your town" kind of video with Tim Horner, Robert Gibson, and Brian Lee. I know those are probably the top faces right now, but it's like they tried to get the worst babyface promo guys they've got in one spot.
Bob blames Ron Wright for being at the root of a lot of Brian Lee's problems, but he's sure Ron won't agree. We go to some pre-taped comments from poor Mr. Wright.
He says it broke his heart last week when Brian Lee took those knuckles and tried to maim Dutch Mantell. He says it's the likes of Brian Lee beating on his knees, hips, and head with knucks that put him in the wheelchair. He's still trying to find someone to manage because Medicaid and Medicare won't pay for much of his surgery. The flu season's coming up on him, but maybe he'll get something done before the winter's gone.
Match #2: vs
Nelson is announced as hailing from Knoxville. Can't say I've heard of him. Bob still wonders what's in the violin case. Kyle has it handcuffed to himself, and cuffs it to the turnbuckle during his matches. Dutch says Rikki better go ahead and call 911 before the match starts. Dutch says Brian Lee is trying to kill him and that's why he has Carl Stiles behind him. Ron Wright makes his way to ringside to scout the match. Dutch feels sorry for his good friend because he needs help getting his surgery. Bob says he has no compassion for Wright and the fans don't either. Dutch expected more from Bob. Kyle flips the violin case to the inside and Wright distracts the ref long enough for Kyle to ram Nelson's head into it. That's good for the 3, and again, Ron quietly heads for the back.
Bob Caudle is in the ring with Tim Horner and Mr. Cunningham, the vice president of HOG (I'm pretty sure that's what they said) and he presents Tim with a plaque for the work he's done with local youth. Maybe it was HAWK. Yep, HAWK. I'm disappointed no one ran in and whacked Tim in the head with it.
Back to the announce table, and Stiles is wearing Dutch's hat and randomly flexing in the background. He honestly looks simple minded.
Hollywood Bob Hollywood says people asked him what he was doing in a hillbilly town like this. He says he wanted to give them a view of a what a real movie star looks like. The other day, he was driving down Sunset Boulevard and Jack Nicholson waved him down and said, "Hollywood....he called me Hollywood. He knows who I am." Jack asked him why he was in the wrestling business when he could be doing anything he wanted in Hollywood. He knows he could, but it's not even about money. He likes to beat people up, and he likes to show the rednecks what a real star looks like because they've never seen anyone so handsome. Aside from the time he asked Gangrel, "How about you, Dracula, why don't you drag your fat ass up there?"this "Hollywood" stuff is probably my favorite thing that Holly has ever done.
Match #3: vs
Yes, this is the Brad Anderson some of us know from Fanfest, the son of Gene Anderson. Dutch says Lee is a homicidal maniac who could be the next person to burst into a cafeteria with an AK-47. Lee's in command of this one. Dutch expects to see Lee somewhere on America's Most Wanted. He wants Stiles to go to ringside and get a good look at Lee's face because they'll probably have to pick him out of a police lineup. Lee gets distracted and Anderson takes the advantage. Dutch says the governor of Florida has declared Brian Lee legally stupid. Anderson still in control and Dutch leaves the broadcast table. Lee comes fighting back and quickly hits the Cancellation for 3. Stiles enters the ring and shoves Lee. Dutch is back on commentary. They trade some punches and Lee quickly gets the better of that. Dutch heads back for the ring as Stiles takes over on Lee. Lee ducks and Stiles hits Dutch. Lee knocks Stiles out of the ring and the old lady from earlier loves it.
Main Event: & vs
I'm sure I could have gotten a better picture for the Fantastics, but I felt obligated to capture the high five. Ivan and Bobby start it off with take downs and mat wrestling. Ivan gets a test of strength. Neither man can get a clear advantage. I'm surprised by how much mat wrestling they're doing, but I like it. Bobby tags in Jackie, and that will probably be the end of that. Jackie does hit a nice cross body off the top though. Golden gets the tag and trades hammerlocks with Jackie. Golden uses the hair to bring him to the mat. Jackie with a hip toss and a short arm scissors, but Golden counters and tags in Ivan. No luck and Bobby tags in. Golden is down on the apron and Bobby & Ivan go to the floor and Ivan gets posted. Bobby turns his back on Golden and loses the advantage. Ivan is bleeding. Golden continues to put the boots to Bobby. Ivan returns the favor and posts him. Golden drives him into the turnbuckles and Ivan's chain was hanging over them. Bobby reverses a whip and Koloff hits the chain. They both tag and Jackie's cleaning house. He hits a cross body from the top, but Ivan breaks the pin. Jackie gets a sleeper on Golden, but Vladimir, who was supposedly back in Russia, runs out from the back and nails Jackie with a boot. Golden covers him for 3.
Bob is joined by Jimmy Golden and Koloffs. Bobby Fulton jumps into the 3 of them and drops Golden and Vladimir before heading to the ring with Ivan. It quickly becomes 3 on 2, however, until hometown hero Tim Horner makes the save and all 6 brawl in and around the ring. Vladimir and Golden finally make it to the back, leaving Ivan to take a chair to the head from Bobby as the credits roll. Golden and Vladimir are back out and the brawl continues all over the place. We're out of time.
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