If I ever needed a brain transplant, Id choose a sportswriter because Id want a brain that had never been used. [url=http://www.

Posted in IYH Forums by jokergreen0220 at 08:29, Jun 22 2017

If I ever needed a brain transplant, Id choose a sportswriter because Id want a brain that had never been used. Taywan Taylor Youth Jersey .- Norm Van Brocklin When I was 13, I transferred to a new school for the first time. I had spent ten years from junior kindergarten through Grade 8 at the northwest corner of Bathurst Street and Viewmount Avenue in midtown Toronto. It was my home court advantage. I knew the roll of the rims and the carom of the walls and which teachers were lax at taking attendance. It couldnt last forever. At some point a promotion was coming, and my record setting minor league career wouldnt matter once new maths and makeup-laden girls challenged all that I had honed. I was heading to St. Andrews Junior High. Grade 9. The Show. Embarking on my first day in the wilds of the public school system, I knew I had to make my mark early. Mr. Pelech, my clever English teacher, noticed my t-shirt just minutes into the first class. It was a tattered, ink-drenched Grateful Dead concert tee. He remarked that "Grateful Dead" was an example of a contradiction. Contra what now? Coach tapped my shoulder and I hopped the boards. I proceeded to argue with a shellshocked Mr. Pelech for several minutes. My arguments were lithe, varied and completely illogical, but I had been trained to stand my ground no matter how ridiculous my position. Eventually, a hapless Mr. Pelech scanned the class and sputtered, "Just who is this guy?" Each one of my classmates shook their heads sheepishly as if to say uh, dont look at me. Mark made. Within two weeks I owned that school. They didnt realize the repressed explosiveness that ten years of private school Yiddish lessons would unleash. It is in this brazen spirit I introduce myself to you now, Dear Reader, as your new weekly columnist for Bardown. Why was I chosen as The One to guide you through the international sports landscape, particularly with so many scribes vying for your sports-saturated eyeballs? Commence the elucidation (AKA bring da noize): Basketball. This is my wheelhouse. I know all the lyrics to Kurtis Blows Basketball and I have for decades. I own a Sweet Georgia Brown-humming Harlem Globetrotters pinball machine from 1979. I still play pickup every week at a local high school against stiff competition in their very extremely late twenties. Also, I was an associate producer for the Toronto Towers of the NBA for nearly 500 games, post-games, pre-games and exactly five playoff games. Ooh, another thing, I call the Toronto Raptors the Toronto Towers because I have some self-respect. Baseball. I spent five teenage summers selling peanuts outside the Dome under the alias Mike Simmons. Despite a promising career as a sidearm Eephus pitch-throwing specialist, the leagues advanced scouts were never able to unravel the mysteries of my potential, because apparently throwing over the plate was a "prerequisite for success". Racists. I submit that using the All Star Game to decide home field advantage in the World Series is akin to the winner of the submission portion of Americas Funniest Home Videos determining the nominees for The Oscars Best Picture award. Also, you can thank me for getting the old Blue Jays logo back, as days after writing this piece, the marketing director for the Jays was following me on Twitter, and months later a new logo was born. Also, my therapist says I have something called a narcissistic personality disorder. Football. In 1998, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue the dream of being rich and famous which is why you know me so well today. That same year I became a fan of an upstart outfit known as the Baltimore Ravens because I thought Ray Lewis was almost definitely innocent of murder and I am obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe. Fifteen glorious seasons later I have two championship rings (made of foil and buttons) as my testament. I have correctly predicted, in pre-season, the Super Bowl participants for 13 consecutive years and I defy you to prove otherwise. (Note: Please dont reference my Twitter feed. Just be cool. This claim is all I have.) Hockey. I worked camera on the 2003 documentary A Day in the Life of the Maple Leafs so I know a thing or two about hockey. Well, exactly two things. One, when I was eight years old, my teenage neighbour convinced me his Mats Naslund rookie card could be mine for the extremely low price of my 1979 O-Pee-Chee Wayne Gurtski rookie card. (Note: I have forgotten how to spell that particular Edmonton Oilers name. At least my night terrors have subsided.) Two, I have developed an algorithm demonstrating the NHL to be the worst run league in the history of Industry. It involves a complicated geometric measurement involving my eyes and common sense. (A fact I will gladly prove over and over again until they, oh I dont know, realign the conferences to have an equal amount of teams. Lets start there.) Fantasy Sports. I Am Legend. In its heyday of 2001, my sprawling website, mikegallay.com, was a sports fantasy powerhouse boasting 16 writers covering all sports, catering to an audience of nearly 16 unique daily readers (and fans of ravines who misspelled mygulley.com). Chances are, if you were a Canadian sports fan in the early 2000s, you were reading articles about topics we also covered on mikegallay.com. The Professor And Mary Ann. I will happily cover all the secondary sports every time a participant either murders someone, is attacked by a spouse using the tools of their own sport, has sex on camera on TMZ, or breaks an important racial, cultural or gender barrier while also keeping our interest for more than eight minutes. Thats my pledge. Am I the precisely correct author to bring you whimsical, satirical, deadly accurate analysis of the sports that matter to you? Absolutely. And can I say that with total sincerity because part of my contract stipulates I have no editor? Two for two. Have I earned your attention to read my column next week? Lets put it this way. My topic will be 23 Ways to Make Over 7K a Week Working Part Time From Your Couch. My third column will be Bardown Seeks New Columnist, No Experience Required. Gallays Poll #1 What would you like to see Gallay write about in his next column? a) A 20,000-word essay conclusively proving Mike is the third Williams sister. b) Doug Gilmours Secret Recipes for 3am Snacks. c) My Weekend In The Hamptons With Barry Bonds. d) No column, just use this space to expand Badminton coverage. Jonnu Smith Womens Jersey . However, it wasnt a problem on Monday night. Evgeni Nabokov made 23 saves for his 56th career shutout in the New York Islanders 3-0 win over the Detroit Red Wings on Monday night. Corey Davis Titans Jersey .Y. - Joe Johnson hit six 3-pointers in his 27 points, Mason Plumlee added 18 points, and the Brooklyn Nets won their 11th straight at home, beating the Boston Celtics 114-98 Friday night. http://www.titansfansproshop.com/Black-Corey-Davis-Titans-Jersey.html?cat=970 . Simona Halep of Romania claimed the fifth title of her career by beating Samantha Stosur of Australia 7-6 (1), 6-2 in the womens final. After trading sets, Gasquet trailed 4-3 in the decider but broke back to 4-4 in a game that went to seven deuces with Kukushkin constantly failing on his forehand shots.CHICAGO -- The Chicago Cubs have hired 2002 AL Rookie of the Year Eric Hinske as their first base coach. The 36-year-old Hinske played 12 seasons in the majors. He came up with Toronto and later played in three straight World Series, winning championships with Boston in 2007 and the New York Yankees in 2009. HHe also played for Tampa Bay (200, Pittsburgh (2009), Atlanta (2010-12) and Arizona (2013), finishing with a . Taywan Taylor Womens Jersey. 249 batting average, 137 home runs and 522 RBIs. Hinske was a 17th-round draft pick by the Cubs in 1998. The move announced Tuesday completes new manager Rick Renterias staff. Cheap NFL Jerseys Wholesale Jerseys Wholesale NFL Jerseys Jerseys From China Wholesale NFL Jerseys Cheap NFL Jerseys Cheap Jerseys ' ' '